I'm home until Sunday. Yippy?
Happy 4th of July!
I'm home until Sunday. Yippy?
Happy 4th of July!
I have been home since Friday and although, I have mainly been bored since I have been home.. I am so relaxed. My house is such a better atmosphere to relax in compared to where I babysit at.
I had to pay $80 for my mom's overdraft fee yesterday, she's not too smart. Last month she ran up the Alltel bill and it came to $500.
I'm finally getting paid to babysit. Only not by the original person I'm babysitting for. I'm being paid by her brother, because I'm watching his kid and so far he has paid be daily. I have a fear that his sister will screw things up for me, because she bitches and yells way too much. And the boy I'm watching isn't used to that kind of atmosphere, I guess. He has already went back and told his grandma a few things that have went on there. I just hope he says nothing about me, because I have been nothing but good to the boy. I don't even think I have raised my voice at him.
I don't want Monday to come, because that means I go back to babysitting. I should of quit a few months back when she went to Nickel's and filled out an application, when I was the one who told her they were hiring. When I took myself to the Employment Source to find out who had what. Bitch.
Everyone thinks I will never get paid, as she owes lot rent like $700. I think I'm done after the summer. I will see how things go. If I don't get paid by the summer time, like around my birthday I am quitting. I'm not going to cower like a little bitch anymore.
I have been away from home for like a month or so and I just came back yesterday! Unfortunately, I am only here until tomorrow. Then it's back to the crazy zoo where I babysit for basically free. Ugh. It would be okay, but I got bills. Just because they want to be irresponsible doesnt mean I want to. I am going to try and look for a different job as I have time. Because I cannot do this.
I got my Vaniqa or whatever its spelt. Its super expensive when not insured. Its $56 and it's supposed to be a 6 month trial.
I'm dating someone from Youngstown but I don't think it will last. I find too many things wrong with everything.
IDK, not much to say. :/
I have not been around in the longest because i could not figure out how to do the mobile thing and had no other way to post. this is dumb when i cant even read what ya'll say!
I should be going back to full time babysitting next week. Yay... or not. I need a real job!
My dad is going to allow me to get this cream for my hair issue. Well, depending on the size of the container or whatever. The ladies said it cost $70... but that could be big or small.
I'm so addicted to Mafia Wars! I have it on Tagged and Facebook! I won't add it to Myspace, because I added Yoville on there and didn't like the setup of it.. so I deleted it. No more trying to use apps on there.
I cant wait until this weekend...I think. I hope my sister brings over my niece. I got a mold set for Easter and I want my niece to help me make the chocolate suckers. I've wanted a mold set for literally like a decade since my late babysitter made them for holidays and such and I got one, kind of.
I always bitch about being poor, yet I never do anything to try and solve it. We have no food in the house and it sucks. Okay, we got canned goods... but not enough to last us until the 28th. I really need a fucking job. I really need to stop being so comfortable here at home. All I do is lay around and do nothing, really. I mean, I've been staying the night at my aunt's, but that still isn't putting food on the table.
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM????
The meds arent helping. The positive things that people say don't help.
I went to a cremation service on Monday and hadn't been to church other than for a death in years. Is it ironic that I could feel what the pastor was saying? That I could relate to it? Not that I would be the only one who couldn't.
But, yeah.. I need a job.... because I wanted to work on getting my DL's this summer and can't do that when I ain't working! Lame.
Like every other laid off, fired or unemployed American.. I need a job!!! This babysitting thing just isn't cutting it when they're out of work. Because they're out of work I'm not getting paid!! I love when I tell someone that a certain place is hiring... they invite me to tag along to fill out an application but end up going by their lonesome without telling me. BITCH!
I went to the what I call the Unemployment Source and found nothing!! Everything you need like 15 years of college for! Jeez.
I have to do something before my next counselor appointment. She wanted me to take these training classes and stuff.... but I don't think I want to because I don't like to surround myself with certain people.
I have to do something because my mom JUST got paid today and her money is pretty much all gone. Our electric bill is outrageous for some reason.
I wish I were ballsy and took chances. I'm still letting fears get in the way of everything.
I went to Walmart and didn't get raped or killed!! Since you know there's supposed to be a gang related attack happen at all the surrounding Walmarts. Scary.
I'm seeing a counselor now, yay. I've only had one session and I go for another visit in a couple days. I'm supposed to come back and tell her things I have improved on to help myself. Guess what? I've done nothing. I tried to the day of, but I didn't bring fruit with me to where I babysit at.
I don't think I'm babysitting for a few days which sucks... because not to sound inconsiderate or anything but I have doctor visits and bills to pay and prescription pills to get. Not to mention a phone bill! I cannot wait until June. Then I can look for a real job. I'm coming close to quitting this crap entirely.
I went to Kickin Kountry last night with a bunch of people. Ugh, it sucked! Only because even though I took line dancing lessons briefly like a decade ago, I don't remember any of the things I learned. And Kickin is a place for line dancing! But thats okay... because our group had our own corner for those who wanted to dance normal. I don't know how you dance to most country songs, unless they're really upbeat.
IDK, guess I don't have much to say.
I had my first cat scan on Wednesday on my adrenal glands. I was so scared that I thought I would have to be injected with dye. But I didn't! I'm sure I'll be revisiting the place, because my gyno told me she wants to see if I have a brain tumor. That way we can out rule certain things. The doctor put me on Metaformin for my adrenal glands also. Metaformin is usually taken as a diabetic drug. And for whatever reason, since I had the scan I'm not allowed to take the pill for 48 hours.
I got my anti-smoking and cholesterol pill. And I also told the doctor that I think I suffer from depression, so he prescribed me the generic form of Paxil. So I'm supposed to go see a counselor on March 2nd.
I need to stop going to the doctors for awhile, though.. so I can get to paying the doctor bill I've racked up. I'm not going to get anywhere if I'm constantly going.
I'm supposed to be going out to Mangos in Alliance tomorrow and I heard the weather is supposed to be shitty. I haven't gone out since September and that was with family. I haven't gone out with friends in a few years. I'm going to go shopping and see if I can find some decent clubbing clothes for tomorrow. I never have anything. The only dressy stuff I have are my funeral wearing clothes. Nice, huh?
Oh, my grandma should finally be getting her head stone in a few years.We finally picked one out for her the other day. This year will mark a decade since she's been gone and she hasn't had one. We can't even go and put anything on her grave because there's no marker or anything there to show where she's buried. I'm going to be pissed if my mom is the only person paying on her head stone. When there is a total of 5 siblings.
I'm home. This is the first time I've been home home in awhile since I first started babysitting. I love home. I miss home.
I have a doctors appointment today. I'm scared. Because this is the appointment I'm supposed to force myself to tell him about my supposed depression/anxiety. I'm too afraid. Afraid that I misdiagnosed myself. But, c'mon I never want to do anything or go anywhere. I don't know if this is depression or just pure laziness. That's where I get confused.
There is something wrong with me and I want to know what.
I got my first overall doctor bill the other day. I just want to shoot myself. They shouldn't even be billing me like that. I HAAAAATE how they base every fucking thing on my mom's income when I have been an adult for 5 years now. I always get screwed because of it. I owe a $200 and counting doctor bill. $200. I can't afford to pay it off quick enough. I get paid $100/mo for babysitting and $50 of that now goes towards my cell.
I have to get this shit sorted. This mental shit. Because I want a real job. I'm tired of being poor.